should i rebond my hair?

had decided since last year to leave my hair natural, not gonna dye it anymore, not gonna do any chemical harm to my beloved silky tresses, definitely not gonna do any further damage by burning them - rebond/perm.

now, i'm starting to think otherwise. coz my hair is so frizzy, i look like Einstein with dark hair. no matter how i comb them or smooth them down.... they'll still go against gravity... arghhh... hate it...

i look a total mess.... argghhh.... how? how? how?!!!! i dun wanna rebond! arghh..

and, i dun like hair gel, mousse or watever u call it... just like how i dun like makeup on my face... i like to be au naturale... heh. for as long as i can help it..... until one day, when children and animals cry and run when they see me... den i'll consider hair gel and makeup.... hahaha.

went for a heavy lunch at Sakura yesterday... after tat, the boy brought me to orchard for some shopping, been so long since my last shopping trip. ended up with a few tops and 2 pair of shoes. one of them was my first ever pair of boots!!! yay!! finally own a pair of boots. so happy. but, i know i'm not ever gonna wear it in singapore. haha... i badly needed a pair of working heels... in the end, i bought boots and did not even try to look for heels. duhz... well, still happy. heh. need to go shoppin again soon, need to get bottoms to match the tops and shoes isnt it? heh.

after tat, went over to the boy's grandma's place for dinner. and we saw his bro's baby jolie. so cute. shes growing really fast! barely 3 months and shes already trying to flip over while lying down. cute, but a terror! cries a lot, likes to be carried around... haiz.. royal princess... haaha... still cute thou.

today, our new nsf reported to work, to take over junsheng... haiz.. time really flies... thinking back, js joined less den 2 weeks after me, i was the one who interviewed him. out of 3 other guys, he was chosen. from there, he learnt and worked... now, he could get info at the tip of his fingers. after learning so much... hes gonna leave next month... nsf come, nsf go... clear reminders tat time really past by very very fast. haiz... wonder if the new boy is able to take up the job, time will tell, isnt it?

i'm at home 2day. was at home yesterday. didnt go to work for 2 days... not feeling very well... cant pin-point where or wat... just dun feel too good overall. feel so tired, so weary, so weak... appetite aint good too. with on-off headaches and tummyaches... i feel like my whole body is slowly breaking down...

the boy is asking where i wanna go for dinner later... usually i'd be happy to dine out... but tis 2 days, i cant find the strength to get off my sofa and bed... hmm... where should i have dinner?

feel like taking a nap now..

am i sick? or wat?

the boy is not sweet anymore!

i've been bullied! by the boy! not sweet! not sweet at all! in fact, more bitter then any chinese medicine there is! hrmph!

i was supposed to attend a course at ayer rajah camp today, coincidently the boy is attending a meeting nearby, so we decided tat i could send him there and i'll go for my course. was happy coz its been long since we last went to work 2gether, and i could spend more time with him on the way there.. quite far mah.

the thing is... i'm not very familiar with the route, and the morning traffic is quite heavy at tat area... and i get panicky and irritated when roads get congested. so, when we were leaving the house, i asked, "can u drive? i dun really know the roads"....... den he snapped at me, "NO, u drive, u need to learn". i was quite shocked at his response so early in the morning... and sad... so, i kept quiet. but millions of tots ran thru my mind.... recently, the boy has been so busy at work, and he is also getting more short-tempered. its been long since we last really chat.... been long since we had a real meal... coz his mind will be far away and his phone keeps ringing... and he'll be screaming at whoever it is(which affects his mood, which in turn affects mine)... been long since we fell asleep 2gether... coz most of the time, the last thing i hear before falling asleep is him typing furiously at his laptop for his reports... been long since i last woke up beside him... coz usually when i wake up... he has gone for work or he's at his laptop already... (i hope his company can wake up and think of employee's welfare...)

haiz....

so.... when i reached my course venue, there was no one tat i knew, i was also unfamiliar with the place, so i sat at one corner alone, coz the other PCs near me were not working, grateful for tat, so i need not entertain ppl i dunno.

damn hungry in the morning, didnt have time to grab breakfast, and i didnt know where was the canteen, so for the morning break, i stayed in the class. but my tummy was starting to growl. den came lunchtime, the trainer said lunch would not be provided(the last time they provided lunch! puiii) and we had to find our own food. damn... where am i supposed to go? the camp is deserted... and i got noone with me, and i dunno the way!! was feeling scared and hungry.

den i remembered, the boy was nearby! i quickly called him, he said his meeting just ended and about to leave.. great! was happy to hear tat... den i asked if he had lunch... he said no... and while i was waiting for him to ask if i had lunch... he said he was busy and had to rush back to office... and hung up.... again.. i was sad.... just 5 hours apart... he disappoint me twice.

had no choice... i walked out the classroom hoping to find road signs... nope... so i walked slowly around... like a detective... i tried following ppl... and when they stopped, i pretend to look elsewhere.... hahaha.... i must have looked silly... den i realized... oh no, theres no one in front of me already... die... i'm stranded.... den i stood in the middle of nowhere... and called my mum.... to chat.... hahaha.... aiya, pretend busy mah... keke... until a group of ppl appeared... i followed them.... yay!!! saw the canteen!!! bought a bowl of noodles and gobbled it down.

sound so kelian rite? i also tot tis way... was pitying myself and wallowing in my own sad world... until my mum told me even sadder news... my sis-in-law..... lost her baby............. i was so sad... so very sad... i was looking forward to the baby.... another baby tat is gonna be as cute as didi and jiejie... she and my bro must be very upset now. my mum also sounded very disappointed.... its a small life, innocent and pure. now gone.... sweet baby, my niece/nephew(can i call u baby E? coz ur gor gor and jie jie all have names tat start with Es), hope u get a better life soon. hope it wasnt too painful tis 2 months. i know u did put up a strong fight... coz the doc said it was an unstable pregnancy, and told us to be prepared, the doc said u have stopped growing, but ur heart continued to beat, u continued to live.. u struggled till yesterday... u must have wanted to see tis world so much.... tis world might even be more painful den wat u went thru. i pray tat u get an easy life the next time.

i dreamt of my ah mah last nite, dun remember wat, just remember seeing her, and hearing her talk. could be becoz i was thinking of her before i fell asleep. when i told the boy tat i suddenly tot of her, tis stupid heartless boy, told me to get 4d number from her if she appeared in my dreams. idiot.

oh my oh my!!!! maybe my ah mah really did come back yesterday??!!!! to fetch Baby E! did she know? if its really tis way.... it would be so awesome... i feel so much better with tis tot...... Baby E, even thou we havent seen u.... all of us loved u already..

drinking session @ Double O

went Double O last fri with celyn and songci for some crazy drinking. it Was crazy.

ended up making a fool of myself..... merlion-ed inside and outside of the place.... ewwww.... thinking of it makes me feel nauseous again...

we were cam-whoring in the cab on the way there... until the cabbie said "u girls r gonna scare a lot of drivers with those flashes... hahaha...

i was getting shorter and shorter as the nite progresses..... coz i couldnt really stand straight anymore...
happy... and not very sober girls... heh. ya, we were drinking like the drinks were on free flowtowards the end of the nite. tats darren.... haha.. kinda feel sorry for him, coz from another club, he rushed over, paid another cover charge.... less den 10mins.. the club closed... and i knocked off... hahaha....the girls made me take a closer pic with him... so they could show the boy. neh, my boy trusts me hor.

rite after tis shot. i puked immediately. and the lights came on coz the club was closing... arrrgghhhh.... so paisey.

dun remember how i got out of the club... but i remembered once outside, i saw the boy standing in front of me... awww... so sweet... he rushed over from another club when celyn called him and told him his darling has KO-ed. so, there i was sitting on the roadside... puking my guts out. ya, totally unglam. hope no one recognized me. and the sick thing? celyn and songci were busy describing wat i had eaten for dinner and analysing wat i'm puking. yucky yuck!!!

den i realized tat darren has vanished... havent apologized to him yet. heh.

i was still puking when i got home. funny thing? i even fell asleep hugging my toilet bowl... till the boy dragged me up.... oh my... totally ugly... was still puking till the next afternoon. yucks. horrible. gave me muscle aches for 3 days due to all those heaving and puking....

when i got sober and started chatting and describing the nite to the boy, he said, "i forbid u to ever meet tat guy again". hahaha.... oops.

baby craze

guess wat.. just got to know from my parents.... my sis-in-law.. just got pregnant.... oh, wat the....

yup, my bro and his wife is 8 yrs older den me, they've got 2 kids already.... and now... a 3rd one soon.... oh my.... but i'm still excited... yay, another baby on the way!!!

ya, u've guessed rite.... my parents nagged the whole evening on how i should follow suit, so tat both babies could grow up 2gether. duhz...

wat a fertile year....

Congrats Peishan!!!

our dear dear sandra is.. is... is..... Preggie!!!!! i'm so excited and happy for her. she actually told me when she just found out... but i didnt dare announce it for her... kekeke... until she gave me the green light. met up with her last week.. and her little tummy is already showing.. 4 months already!! my goodness... so exciting..

seems like its the latest trend to get preggie.. coz a lot of those around me are either getting preggie, or giving birth, i've lost count of how many baby's 1st month celebration i've attended, and how many congrats wishes i've sent out. its almost becoming like...

me: hey, long time no see, how have u been?
fren A: oh, i'm fine... by the way, i just got pregnant.

fren B: lets meet up for drinks and gathering
me: oh sure, where and wat time? shall we go clubbing? drinkin?
fren B: ermm cant drink and cant stay too late hor, oh ya, by the way, i'm pregnant.

fren C: hey, did u hear? fren X just got pregnant.

fren D: the whole neighbourhood is pregnant.

ermm... ok, i'm not trying to sound negative.. preggie is a good thing, i'm just amused tat how suddenly so many ppl can get preggie at the same time? hahaha...

even the boy's elder bro.. his baby just celebrated her 1st month. and i'm pressured by his 30 over family members... with the constant... "aiyo, see the baby so cute.. whens urs?" and "hey, u still no news? better hurry". duhz... i love babies... but all these constant naggings r starting to turn me off. and now, even my mum has started.. "eh, when ur turn huh?" the ultimate? i've started to get emails asking when is fibi junior coming.... arghhh...

as for the boy's frens, we just attended 2 of his good fren's baby celebrations. and while having fun at a ktv session, another of his fren said, btw, my wife's preggie. faint... after tat.. the boy told me.."wah, a bit stress liao lei.. all my frens having baby lei, left us.. how ah?" i could only reply "so?".

ok ok... dun worry, we've been having talks and plans. but it'll only happen after i've had enough fun and rest. we r both so tired from work now... add another baby.. it'll burn our pockets and kill us. but, i also do not want to wait till i'm too old to have junior.. still need energy to run after little monsters. kekeke... maybe next year or next next? i'm anticipating too. hee...

wat i hate is.. gahmen says "go forth, reproduce". local company says, "go forth, reproduce, and dun come back". thou my company often say, "we pro gahmen one, gahmen say good to reproduce, go ahead lor". and den they pile u with lotsa work. and hint tat if u go maternity, its ok, it really ok, just 4 long months, dun worry la, we think of how to manage when u preggie, go lor, u go lor... and den they give a eerie laugh...

even if they really fine with ur maternity leave... but the work is so busy, and u r always kept at work late till nite... how to take care of baby? if there r frequent meetings and events tat lasts till late... would u even think of having a baby? pro gahmen? my arse.

oh ya, i dun understand those parents who give birth den puts the baby at the parent's place, and they continue to be busy at work. den y have baby in the 1st place? just to carry on ur name? the baby is a human being, not a name-carrying object. if u cant take care or love them, its better to hug ur work till old. dun ruin a person's life. its ok to work, but constant neglect causes resentment... and when they become rebellious, u scold and punish... its too late. i told the boy, if we were to be weekend parents, we might as well not have babies.. coz we already have didi and jiejie whom we see every weekend, and they r already almost like our kids. no difference. if i could only see my kids once in a while, i'll kill myself. or rather, not have them in the 1st place.

i dunno if i can be a good parent. but i'll try all i can not to be a bad one. heh.